Hey Jesus, got a light?

This is an oil lamp unearthed in the ancient city of Jericho. Apparently it’s pretty famous for substandard masonry, perhaps you’ve heard of it? That being said, the lamp looks decidedly standard. No frills, no pretty design, it’s a simple no-nonsense oil lamp, just like Jesus would have preferred. It dates to 4BC-20AD, during the reign of King Herod, which means it would have been in use during the life of His Jesusness himself, if you’re inclined to believe in that sorta thing.

4BC-20AD Oil Lamp -- From the lifetime of His Jesusness

I’m inclined to believe that you believe, and that makes you think this is neater than it actually is, which, in turn, gives me a reason to also think its neater than it actually is, and that’s pretty neat. I’m pretty sure I can see the face of Jesus on the bottom. Just to be 100% sure, I’m having it authenticated by experts. Real pros too, I’ve got the same guys who did the screen door, and the grilled cheese sandwich.

It’s pretty much your standard terracotta, caked in 2000 year old dirt. As a testament to the cliche that they don’t make things like they used to, if you stuffed a wick in the spout, and filled it with oil, it would still work today. I’d like to think that’s because His Jesusness imbued it with immortality. However, I’m willing to accept that there may be other perfectly rational explanations for its longevity.