Is there a doctor in the house?


You know how sometimes people say things were better in the olden days?  Those people are liars, cuz in the olden days, people were fucking insane.  Exhibit A:  Dr. Chase’s Nerve Food.  Don’t let the Vitamin B1 fool you.

Dr. Chase's Nerve Food

Dr. Chase's Nerve Food

Dr. Chase is obviously a consummate professional, because lets face it, there’s something trustworthy about a face like Colonel Sanders, or C. Everett Koop.  Anyway, Colonel..err..Dr. Chase had just the thing if you were unfortunate enough to suffer from Tired Feelings, Sleeplessness, Nervous Indigestion, Nervous Headache, or a Pale and Sallow Complexion.  So if you’ve ever been tired, or not tired, had indigestion, or a headache, boy howdy, is this the thing for you.  The instructions suggest 1 pill after each meal and at bedtime.  After 10 days, the dose can be increased to 2 pills after meals and before bedtime.  What, you might ask is in this magical elixer that cures both tiredness, and not tiredness in one little pill?  Why, it’s a Snakehandler’s best friend, Strychnine, and Arsenic.   What did you expect, Heroin?  Nope, good guess though, I’m saving that one for a different day.  As always, click on the pictures if you want to actually read the tiny letters.  As a bonus, you can read them in either English, or French.

 

 

 

mmmmmm, what a treat!

mmmmmm, what a treat!

Kids, remember to take your Strychnine after meals!

Kids, remember to take your Strychnine after meals!

Pale and Sallow Complexion, or a Nervous Headache

Pale and Sallow Complexion, or a Nervous Headache

Nervous Indigestion, or Sleeplessness

Nervous Indigestion, or Sleeplessness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm, I wonder, what are the symptoms of Strychnine, and/or Arsenic poisoning?  Lets just trot on over to the CDC and ask them:

“Strychnine prevents the proper operation of the chemical that controls nerve signals to the muscles. The chemical controlling nerve signals works like the body’s “off switch” for muscles. When this “off switch” does not work correctly, muscles throughout the body have severe, painful spasms. Even though the person’s consciousness or thinking are not affected at first (except that the person is very excitable and in pain), eventually the muscles tire and the person can’t breathe.”

The signs and symptoms of acute arsenic poisoning include the following:

  • Gastrointestinal: severe abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, and bloody or rice-water diarrhea
  • Cardiovascular and respiratory: hypotension, shock; ventricular arrhythmia; congestive heart failure; and pulmonary edema
  • Neurologic: light-headedness; headache; weakness, lethargy; delirium; encephalopathy; convulsions; coma; and sensorimotor peripheral neuropathy
  • Hepatic and renal: elevated liver enzymes; hematuria, oliguria, proteinuria; and acute tubular necrosis, renal cortical necrosis
  • Hematologic: anemia, leukopenia, thrombocytopenia, and disseminated intravascular coagulation
  • Other: rhabdomyolysis, garlic odor on the breath, and delayed appearance of Mees lines.

That’s right, the active ingredients in Dr. Chase’s Nerve Pills, are…poisons that fuck up your nerves.  IANAD, but should you ever find yourself suffering from the symptoms of Strychnine, and/or Arsenic poisoning, I’m gonna say what you probably don’t need is more Strychnine/Arsenic in your diet.  Don’t let Rhabdomyolysis happen to you!

But, hey.  It’s not like there are any shortage of Dr. Chase’s floating around today.   They just hang out in the “homeopathic” “industry” now, where they retreated to shield their fraud behind the phrase “nutritional supplement” after they were essentially forced out of the medical profession around the time of the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act of 1938.

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10 thoughts on “Is there a doctor in the house?

  1. You have done great work and it is really useful to many people as-well.I am suffering from Nervous Dyspepsia for a long time and was thinking to take Dr Chase Nerve Food but after reading this post I think I’ll drop this idea.But are you sure this tonic is dangerous and not beneficial? Because I read another review in the favor of this tonic.Thanks

    • You can find a review in favor of anything, any time there’s an industry to profit from it. Cigarette ads used to advertise their virtues as health products. They employed legions of “scientists” to support, and defend that absurd position. Today, we can almost all agree those were not only lies, they were willful, and deliberate lies. Stick to products that are based on sound science, not pseudo-science. The only reason “Dr.” Chase doesn’t use Strychnine,or Arsenic in their product anymore, is because the FDA made it illegal, not because “Dr.” Chase actually cares about your health, or wellbeing.

      This product, and an entire industry of products just like it are nothing more than modern snakeoil. At worst, these things can be harmful to you. Even in the *best* case, they’re likely to just be completely ineffective. If your best case scenario is “nothing happens”, and your worst case scenario is “this harms you”, then you really have no rational incentive to use the product. There’s really nothing *good* that can come of it, only nothing, or bad. Spend your hard earned money on something that actually has a chance to help you, or at least spend it on something useful. 🙂

      Good luck out there, talk to a gastroenterologist about your situation, maybe there’s something else that really can help you.

  2. Awesome I’ve been looking for info on this item for years! Pretty strange the things people thought would make you better are actually the things making you sick. If you anyone has more info on this item please email me.

    • What kind of info are you looking for, maybe I can help? A big part of the homeopathic industry is based on the “Poison in small doses = magic cure for poison” nonsense. Ideas like this have been around for a long time. In the early 1900s, we called it “snakeoil”. Now, we call it “homeopathy”. It’s still the same nonsense though.

  3. Usually, older people have fond memories of their childhood and past. That’s one of the reasons why they refer it as good old days. Not necessary it is going to be good days for you and me. May be when we are old we will also refer to this time as the good old days. Who knows.

    • When I am old, and I wax nostalgic about the good ol’ days, I’ll be crazy too. The kids will roll their eyes, and think we were naive and ignorant, and they’ll be right.

      Then I’ll chase ’em off my lawn. Damn kids, and their disrespect of elders.

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